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j.s.bach spent all his life and his 200+ cantatas trying to communicate with god, trying to portray the divine … but he failed miserably. because what he did –prelude after prelude after sonata after suite after cantata– was actually to portray the human. there is nothing divine in his music, nothing from another world. his music hurts so much, because everything in it is human, all too human.
the same happens with the rigid architecture of his compositions; each of his pieces are pure form, an equation that always resolves by itself, which doesn’t even requires to be formulated. pure maths. patterns and formulas… however, using such a rigid and formal shape he was able to distillate every from of bliss and human suffering. he dried the human being, drop by drop.
all his work is a giant musical encyclopedia of human passions, dissected and displayed each one of them in jars filled with formalin, with their sticked labels, sorted and rigorously placed by their scientific names, with their hundreds of variations and different meanings assorted.
bach prodded us with a pin in his collection of rare insects, and he left away with his butterfly net.
today ecce cello was sounding in teatro piccolo de milano. my beloved colleague rossy de palma used one of my pieces for her performance. somehow, as a wave that spreads on the water, tonight i also received a very important mail. finally someone answered, did care about. connected. it’s been many years struggling each day in the streets, preparing every single detail of ecce cello, every tiny little pinky dusty particle. before i contact the people that matters, i wanted to have ALL ready.
this last two months, after i finished my new cd (hey!! i composed, recorded, mixed, produced, designed the cover and did the pictures!!), i made a new website, the 2 min. video and the institute-UA. i decided i was prepared, it was time to launch. let’s move our ass!! everyday i spend hooouuurrrsss researching the internet and trying to contact the right people, and capture their attention! that’s a tough work.
i still don’t dare to open the mail, but hey, i received it. that’s enough. the act of being heard was fulfilled, isn’t that wonderful?? isn’t that enough? what does it matter what the mail says?? maybe it will bring new and unexpected opportunities, maybe just a bunch of nice words and wishes… what does it matters?? when the sun finally shines… does it actually matter what time is it, where you are, how much it will last…?? fucking enjoy it and shut the mobile up!
i am so condemned happy.
today i sold 3 CDs in my online store. bandcamp, the fantastic service i use, allows you to listen by free the hole music, not only a part. but people pays, why? because this way they become part of your music. hey, i produced myself these two ecce cello’s recordings from scratch, and i didn´t do crowfunding or whatever, i advanced the money, and offer to you a finished result, if you like it, and you pay for it, you are backing me, you are producing it.
one of those purchases was specially meaningful, as it was the physical cd, not only download. people is starting to buy the physical cd from holland, austria… that almost makes me cry. i have to pack them, go to the post office. it’s fucking romantic.
another get physical CD order!! you don’t know how happy you can do a musician by supporting his music this way. :D
now it’s time to move my ass (from the video-editing chair, to the chair to book gigs…)
i think i am finally close to my launch. 5 years dedicated exclusively to set up ecce cello, i must trust myself now. it’s now or never. i did this already in the past, i was my own manager with my theatrical company, and it worked quite well.
the problem is my insecurity, and my obsession for the “how”. i wanted to produce a little video to catch cultural programmers attention. that’s not easy!
i was not sure about the character it should have. finally i decide kind of interview. but how much should it last? 1 minute, 2 minutes, three?? i did a research on short videos. it seems two minutes is the ideal. but the shorter video you want to make, the longer it takes. i am suffering… so i made all possibilities.
first i made a 3 minutes version:
and also a 1 minute version
but then i was not sure and made a 2 minutes version
working alone always puts you after a couple of weeks in a dead-end. then i asked for criticism to family and friends. most liked this or that, but then i had a very good critic from a friend (thank youuuuu for being so honest and even destructive!! uhhhh!), and i realized and became conscious of something i already knew: all videos were overwhelming and full with way too many things, due to my insecurity and big ego, oh vanity!! it’s just left that i fly and trow fire thru my mouth!! it’s like saying “eh! look how many things i can do!!” but these videos were meant to sell and promote my music, not my ego. anyway.
back to start again. now i am doing a new video editing focusing in ecce cello and filtering my super-ego trip. will i be able?? not sure…
first i thought it was funny to call it “institute for unsuccessful artists”. www.institute4uartists.org
i created a name, a logo, a website… and then, taking advantage of this parallel reality called internet, and do it credible, i created all social media bullshit related to it.
but there were not good feelings about the word “unsuccessful”, and it seems not everyone would get the fucking joke. so i had to buy another fucking domain name and i re-named it like “institute for uncharted artists” www.institue-ua.org i think in a few days my “institue” growed up quite well, and was improved with a better logo and website domain. scheiße!
all this came when i decided making a short-super-video to promote my work and be able to sell it. but then i realized that it was not enough. how to call attention with so many things happening on the internet, one thousand per hour? then this “institute” came to my mind.
so the institute will contact cultural institutions, programmers and festivals. and then i will make a second contact. whether they think it’s truth or they take time to discover the “fake”, i hope it will help me to be differentiated from the daily mountain of proposals and information they get, and to trap their attention.
am i just procrastinating the moment to lauch the video?? i’m exhausted.
adaptation for harpsichord from the original music for two viola da gambas of the composer monsieur sainte-colombe.
i decided not to put internet in my new place. i use it as a tool of work, that’s right; i am administrator of 3 websites, i sell my music recordings, i distribute my work… but i just can’t handle this infinite web hole. i have no twitter, no facebook… but whatever. in my opinion we are not prepared for this fucking internet. at least i’m not. i am unable to concentrate and make a right use of it. i’m like a child left alone in a candy shop. maybe i am researching something specific, but after two hours i wake up, realizing i watched 10 stupid videos of cats, read 10 useless technology articles based on curiosities. it’s a trojan horse. i have not found the way to keep straight with internet. it’s like trying to keep a diet, and live in the middle of an infinite pastry shop. also, when i have no internet, i read a lot of paper books.
when i need it, i will go to a coffee shop or a friends house, but i will keep that shit away from my routines. so i can focus and keep on with my life
I got to be accepted in the künstlersozialkasse!!! oh yeah
this is the german social security for artists. it’s a very complex process to get in, they will check every single detail, to see whether you are eligible or not.
it’s been 5 years working in black, having no insurance and not seeing the moment this would change. but slowly, things get better… now i got it!! i’m so happy. this will help me a lot, to make this 2015 year, the year of ecce cello. everything is positioned to be launch.
shooting with my brother these days for the new promotional video of ecce cello. thanks bro! … for 15 years i make very good videos of all my projects, spending weeks and weeks of work, learning to make them dynamic, good credits, animations, postproduction, bla bla bla … i do not think i have ever sold more performances or achieved anything worthwhile for all the work i put into these videos.
but in this in this one i have high hopes. it will last less than 2 minutes. what a challenge! and once i have it, i will start to distribute ecce cello properly. after 5 years of developing … but it may be that this video does not mean anything, like the others… and become once more an exercise in vanity and onanism, due to the frustration of not having expectations of outputting an impulse that bites inside. we’ll see.
i’m gonna make a promo video. i have already spent 5 years of ecce cello daily hard work. i have a new cd release, which i am really proud of. a brand new website. and a 70 minutes show that works already like charm. i’m starting to feel ready to distribute my work propperly, as i did with my theatrical company. so i’m gonna make a fucking 2 minutes video, in order to show to the cultural curators how is my work. it’s going to be really difficult. i made already many videos, but this one really has to hit the mark. googling i have discovered a funny, and provably useful tool, to get criticism for “in-progress” video editings. if you are into video editing, provably you’re gonna like it: