the strength of obsession

obsession has always guided me. it’s a horse (but you don’t go “on” the horse, that horse doesn’t let himself to be mounted. you go inside it, you become it). you can do anything with the strength it gives to you, and it won’t make you be tired, or bored, or hungry, or sleepy. it’s like a drug, it will do everything for you… as long as you feed it. that’s the only thing that bronco asks for. you must feed it continuously and let it run without stop, let it take control. i have been lazy and even weak since a child. i had to find a way to pursue my goals –i had to find a strength– and i found it in one of my weakest points, what was called an illness when i was a child, became my strength: obsession. it always did the dirty job for me. thru the years i learned to “manipulate” it, so it runs in the directions i need. and it works. i can do whatever it comes to my mind. it doesn’t matter i have no idea of the subject. i just have to let the horse ride in that direction. the only problem is sometimes it gets the control. control… control… what a word. these last days, this horse is running over my inert body.

About david fernández

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